By the time I get to Phoenix...

Alright alright alright. The last few days have been full of driving, parks, car troubles and heat. The great American southwest. Oh yeah. Lots to see, lots of miles to see it. I left Ventura, CA Wedensday morning and headed to LA. I was just going to do a driveby in LA, as I was spending the night in Vegas. But I had to roll through Beverly Hills at least, so I did just that. It was hazy, there was lots of traffic, and that was about all I got to experience with LA. I think I'll come back at some point in the next year and spend a weekend or something, I actually think I'd really like it. Word up.

After my quick drive through LA I went to Joshua Tree NP. Joshua Trees are these cacti that look like little trees, and this park was full of them. I was hoping that Bono would be kicking it in the park, but unfortunately he wasn't there. Actually, no one was there; it was really the most desolate park I've ever been to. There were maybe a total of 8 cars in the entire park. But I enjoyed the desolation and the landscape, and yes I took lots of pictures. When I left the park I headed north to Vegas, where I was spending the night with a Wharton classmate, Matt Knipp. I was ready to get crunk.

On the way to Vegas I crossed over the Hoover Dam. Hahaha, I wanted to go on the dam tour and see the dam inside, but the damn dam was closed as it was late by this time. After I crossed over the Hoover Dam the road took me up a hill - and after I crested this hill all I saw was lights. It was actually almost unreal, complete darkness and then a sea of bright lights. Vegas baby! Once in town I went straight to Matt's aparmment. It's not really his apartment, as he's staying at a hotel all summer. Kinda nice, he gets his bed made and clean towels every day. Anyhow, we had a drink and then went out to the Tangerine Lounge, or something like that. Another Wharton '07, Bobby Amerine, met us out there as well. I dunno, I hadn't been to Vegas as an adult, and I figured since I was in Vegas I'd get tore back. So basically that was the night - Matt and I getting tore back. Bobby is a responsible adult, so he was taking it easy. I don't remember much, but I do remember playing video poker at 3:00AM and winning $25. I took my $25 ticket to the redemption booth and told the lady "Yes, I'm a big winner, 25 whole dollars!!!!" I then put the 20 and 5 dollar bills on my forehead. Matt got a good picture of this, but I accidentally erased it. As I said, I was drunk. Oh yeah, I almost forgot - Alan Thicke was at Tangerine Wednesday night. I wanted to go ask Mr. Seaver how he was doing, but I'm sure he gets Growing Pains lines all the time.

Thursday morning I woke up with the worst hangover I've had in years. Matt somehow made it to work, and I left his hotel room at 10:30 and headed towards Bryce Canyon/Zion national parks in Utah. I dunno, I was pretty beat and really just wanted to head to my hotel in Page, AZ, but I felt guilty and decided to go to the parks anyway. And actually, by the time I got to Zion I was feeling decently better. Zion was great, but you have to take a shuttle to certain parts of the park, and I wasn't feeling up to getting on a shuttle. Instead I just did the scenic drive part which was cool. Lots of red rocks, trees, and desert, and I took pictures. When I got out of Zion I headed north to Bryce Canyon. Yes lawd.

Well, once I got Bryce I checked my car and realized I was leaking engine coolant. Fuck. I mean, this whole trip is dependent on that good ol' cloudy audi carrying my ass around. A quick inspection showed me that the leak wasn't that serious, but I was pretty damn low. So I jetted out of the park and was fortunate enough to find a store that had some coolant at the park entrance. Whew, I was relieved. I added some coolant and oil and went back in the park to check out the canyon. Wow, it was amazing. I was glad I made the trip out of the way to the park, it was well worth it. After checking out a couple of vantage points I left the park and headed to Page, and it was about 7:30 at this time.

So here's where it gets fun. According to my atlas there's a road that cuts south just outside of Bryce Canyon that would get me to Page. I started down this road and ended up running into a state park. I asked the guide how to get to Hwy89, and he told me there were two ways - 1) a 42 mile dirt road, or 2) go back to the other side of the park on paved roads, 120 miles. I decided that hell, I'd take the dirt road. Big mistake, Spooner. I started down this road and it was rough as hell, but I rembered when I was 14 and my family was going to Chaco Canyon over a dirt road - when we drove slow, it was rough. When we sped up, it was fine. You just float over the holes. So I sped the fuck up to about 40 and was cruising...cruising until I came upon a hill with a 90 degree right turn just on the other side of it. Oh shit, I slammed on the brakes, cut as hard as I could, and was able to keep 10% of my car on the road and my face out of the windshield. Of course, 90% of my car ran the hell off the road and over some rocks and dirt. I slid through the curve, ran over some sagebrush, and stopped the car. Fortunately, no amazingly, my car was ok. I didn't break any hoses or tear up my wheels. I did have dirt all up my hood above my headlights, but that was minor. The first thing that went through my mind was that scene in National Lampoons Family Vacation when Chevy Chase gets the family lost and stranded in the desert. That could've been me. So I said to hell with the rest of the dirt road and turned around to drive the 120 miles of paved road. I ended up checking into my hotel just before midnight and passed out. What a long ass day.